Why country life is rubbish

 It’s been a tough few months but as we now appear to be coming out of lockdown many people are talking of moving to the country.  City life is great when everything is open but when it’s closed……

So the property supplements have been full of articles about moving out of the city into the country.  These articles nearly always have the same phrases “space to breathe” “rural idyll”  “sense of community” ”better quality of life” .  They then interview a family who moved out of the city 5 years ago for a “better quality of life” and how they could never move back to the city.  It’s all incredibly smug and what the articles don’t tell you is that country living is not perfect that you have to make compromises and that you can’t get Deliveroo

I am a city boy, brought up in Hotwells and have always loved the city, but 30 years ago I moved out to Wrington and now live in Flax Bourton, yet I still go to Bristol every day either for work or entertainment so I have a foot in both camps. 

So yes country living is great people say hello to you in the street, you are surrounded by lovely countryside and nature the pace of life is slower and you are part of a community but before you all put your houses in Southville St Andrews and Redland on the market here are five reasons why you should stay in the city

1. If you have teenage kids they will hate you

Teenagers want to hang out with their mates decamping from the city to the country will mean having to find new mates to hang out with, that’s not really the issue here.  No the issue is distance.  In the city your kids’ friends lived locally, a walk away maybe a couple of ‘ drive.  In the country their mates from school could be ten miles away and so hanging with your mates is not that simple.  If they want to go out for an evening it’s probably into the city and that means you will be press ganged into being taxi driver for the night.  That is a dry Saturday night for you so your child can go out.  Ah I can hear you say, these days kids hang out on WhatsApp, Facetime or Zoom so it doesn’t really matter they can hang out from the comfort of their bedroom.  Which brings me onto point 2

2. Don’t expect the wi-fi  to be any good

You decide to move to the country you can work from home so can your partner and your kids can keep in touch with their mates via Facetime or WhatsApp.  In the evenings you and your wife can curl up on the sofa and watch The Ozark on Amazon Prime while the kids watch Youtube or download music in their rooms.  This is a fantasy. In the country,  if one of you is on an important Zoom meeting then nobody else can use the internet until the meeting is over.    If you and your partner are watching The Ozark and your kids are on You Tube or streaming music then prepare for an episode to take two hours due to buffering.  Rural internet is not as good as urban internet, that is the truth and you need to factor that in before you move

3. Deliveroo Uber Eats and Just Eat won’t deliver

Nor will the other services you have got so used to in the city.  “Shall we get a takeaway?”  means either a drive to the nearest town or bringing a takeaway home from work   Say goodbye to spontaneous “let’s see what menus we have on the fridge door and order something”  Remember the only good takeaway in the country is fish and chips, everything else is a poor imitation of the flavoursome authentic takeaways you get in the city

4. One of you will have to give up alacohol

 The kids want to visit their mates, you fancy a takeaway, you need a pint of milk at 7pm or you just want to go out on a “date night”  In the city all these could probably be achieved on foot.  Welcome to the country where pretty much everything requires a car journey and that means no alcohol.  Still the countryside is nice

5. Everything is more expensive

The local petrol station (if you are lucky enough to have one) will probably be 10p a litre more expensive.  The village shop does not have the purchasing power of Sainsburys or Tesco so be prepared to pay 10-20% more for basics.  Everything is more expensive that’s what is called the rural premium

So here are just five reasons to stay in the city.  I could have added public transport (lack of), lack of diversity, narrow lanes and tractors, village pantos and many others that make country living a pain

So no doubt I would move back to the city in a heartbeat.  Hell no I love living in the country.  It’s not perfect but if True Speed eventually get their act together and bring high speed broadband to Flax Bourton  I Can’t think of anywhere else I’d rather live